She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies