I didn't shave. On purpose
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.