this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
cat food counts as protein by the way
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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