So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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