The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
