On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
