I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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