Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
