In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
