I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
