Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
