Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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