Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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