so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
pray to the hookup gods
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
