I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
