8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
