i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
