Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies

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(706): View more from Georgia

dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.

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(850): View more from Florida

You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.

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(281): View more from Texas

okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.

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(707): View more from California

Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.

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(317): View more from Indiana

hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.

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