Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
