Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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