My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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