She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
