Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize