Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So squirting runs in the family.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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