I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
