my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
