i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
