you would pick up someone in the library
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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