did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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