my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why are your pants in the freezer?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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