I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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