Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
