My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i think im in europe. pls send help
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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