Ambien. No doubt about it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize