Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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