hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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