This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize