I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
