these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit