Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.