Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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