College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
