Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
