So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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