Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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