operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
