Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
