Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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