Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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