he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...