yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
How external is "for external use only"?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
