So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
