What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
