I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
