Duck Duck Cougar?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
