New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize