I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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