All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
