Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
