nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize