Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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