So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize